My spiritual director suggested I give up men for lent. I said, “sure,” pretty easily since there aren’t any to immediately give up and I know how much anxiety I create around my male relationships. So that was has been the plan leading up to tomorrow, Ash Wednesday, for those of you who don’t know. I was going to couple that with praying the rosary or something. (Not to mention that giving up men would be like giving up diet coke, which I haven’t even had in over two months–something I love, but hasn’t been a part of my life in a while).
Until today. I was sitting at work and a new thought entered my mind. Just as quickly as it came, I wanted to erase the thought–erase any future thought. I had a new idea and I immediately said, “no, I can’t do that. That would be impossible.” Which, as we all know, means it is exact thing that we should be giving up during the time of lent. A difficult sacrifice and something that helps us grow.
I’m going to give up looking at blogs–the kinds of blogs that I go to for daily inspiration and reprieve from my day. It seems like a pretty harmless activity except that it has become a habit that fills me with envy and a desire for more more more. Sure, sometimes I use it to inspire me to make something, but that always comes out as copying. Instead of going to a museum, I’d rather spend my day on the couch clicking on my computer. I use them to write my own blog, which creates pretty mundane blog posts.
Blogs in and of themselves are not bad. That’s why I love them, but I’ve gotten a little overboard and find that I quit looking for inspiration in my every day. I love all the quotes on the internet, but I’m sure I could find just as many inspirational quotes in a good memoir or poem. I will be more free of the idea that I need more fashionable clothing and in turn more money to buy such things.
My brain tried to make the excuse that I wouldn’t be able to find recipes of what to cook, but was quickly refuted with the idea that we actually have an entire shelf of cookbooks! I’m not against good articles, things that make me think, but will focus more on the plethora of images that leave me feeling “not enough.” My apartment is not decorated enough, my blog is not cool enough, my clothes are not updated enough, my job is not enough.
So here’s to a lent of finding the One who says that my life is beyond enough. A lent being inspired by the every day (like Livia pictured above at our slumber party this weekend)!
What are you doing this lent?
United in Him,